: From one to whole :: Parvati's Quest for Shiva:

: From one to whole :: Parvati's Quest for Shiva:

It is a time honored tradition in India that the groom, riding a mare, leads a procession of friends and dear ones to the bride’s home, where he is given an auspicious welcome at the door by his mother in law and other women of the household. On one such occasion, a lady stood welcoming the congregation, eagerly looking out for her son in law. Before the groom entered, she witnessed numerous of his friends going in. All were beautiful, handsomely dressed and immaculately turned out. What would the groom himself be like, when those preceding him were so attractive? She couldn’t suppress her excitement.


"Here comes the bridegroom," someone whispered in her ears. She hopefully raised her head and immediately shrieked out in terror. There he was - his body smeared with gray ash fresh from the cremation grounds, riding a bull, holding a skull in his hands, his eyes rolling as if intoxicated and looking utterly disheveled and untidy, like he had not had a bath for several days. The mother in law wailed, lamenting her beautiful daughter’s choice of husband:

"O daughter what have you done, you have ruined your family. Surely you were not in your senses when you made your choice. Why did I not remain a barren woman rather than give birth to you who has bought ill fame to the whole family. You have put away sandal paste and instead smeared yourself with mud, throwing away rice you have eaten the husk."

God: Ugly or Beautiful?::


The lament of the lady is in fact representative of our own view of the external world, conditioned as we are to find only the beautiful to be agreeable, forgetting in the process the fact that the same supreme reality pervades each and every aspect of this manifested existence, whether good or bad. It is only when we start recognizing the inherent divinity in all aspects of life, can we call ourselves anywhere near to understanding god.

The above narrative is easily recognizable as an episode from the marriage of Shiva and Parvati. The latter’s mother was adamant that she would not give away her daughter to a person of such hideous appearance.


Lord Vishnu tried to calm her by saying:

"Dear woman you do not know Shiva. He is both possessed and devoid of attributes. He is hideous as well as comely." (Shiva Purana: Rudrasamhita III.44.90)